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malliw

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Stuck in a cross road once more [Oct. 19th, 2006|02:37 pm]
malliw
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

I took an mc today.. though I apparently was not very very sick. Still, I needed time to think alone. The deed/contract is almost in my hands.

And I am at a crossroad once more. Between further studies or possible career future. There is almost nothing holding me back from going at this time. But, deep in my heart, I feel sad. I dunno why. Given all the setbacks I had for the past few months, I really do not know how to proceed from this point onwards. I dun see myself securing a future in my place of birth and yet, I hope not to leave my parents or my friends. What is my ultimate goal in life? I dun quite see it clearly now. Either I step out of this place to see outside, else I dun think I really know what it is like. I have not even spoken of my intentions to my parents, I just do not know how they will think of it. But then, after so long, I want time away from here, from this place where now and then, I feel hurt at times, sad of the past and whatever holding me down. The only worry is can I really let go after spending time away from here or will I get more miserable being alone somewhere.
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Comments:
From: tekis
2006-10-19 07:26 am (UTC)
come on... u only live once! and that's it! no time for u to feel 'sentimental'!. sooooo chase your dream!!...achieving your goal in life doesn't mean u have to leave your family and friends behind! strike a balance in between, i'm pretty sure u can do it!!!

Cheers!
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[User Picture]From: boyarmy
2006-10-19 01:37 pm (UTC)
do what you feel is right. Live the life that you want, and explore your dreams. If you fail elsewhere, you will always have something to fall back on right here. Don't be afraid because if you do, you will regret it. Once you have decided, don't regret. Make the most out of whatever you have. Look forward.
Let me tell you about my experience.
Coming to Singapore wasn't easy for me. The decision though was a split second thing. I made my decision within a week, partly because I was looking for a change of job back then. I told myself, what the heck, just give it a try at this new job and with a blink of an eye, I have been here for 3 years now, time flies.
Back then, I have some commitments, I have my the other half there, my family, my cousins whom I am very close to, my friends, not to mention my lovely bed. I have to leave all these behind coming here with the hope that I would one day go back with more experience and advance in the corporate ladder or set up my own business when I have drank enough sea water. I cried and felt so sorry for leaving my family behind, physically. I couldn't be by their side to take care of them. But they will always, and had always remain close to my heart. As for my the other half, we broke up after a year I came here due to the long distance and some pressing issues which we have known since day 1 we met, and have refused to address it until I came here. As for my friends, well... I kinda felt that I have left behind the most precious gift that I ever had, the kind of friendship and intimacy that we had, there is no word to describe how close we were... those were the days. Anyway, like the saying goes, people come and go but they leave foot prints in our hearts. Well, as I moved along, so do my circle of friends. Btw, they are my straight friends, which on second thought that I may not be suitable to be their friends due to our differences, if you know what I mean. They have never been tolerant towards such people, all these while I have managed to hide it from them.
Well, here I am, after 3 years. I have you guys as friends now, though we may not be that close or meet that often. You see, people come and go.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to the question, "what do you seek in life?"
For me, I want to live the life that I want. Back home, I was kinda suppressed mentally and closeted due to the negative mentality of people like us.
We come to a crossroad a few times in our life. Sometimes we make the right decision and sometimes we make the wrong turn. No matter what, we will still gain something out of it, experience. We become wiser when we make mistakes. We become more confident when we make the right decisions. If we fall, we stand again and move on.
So... wish you all the best in what ever you do... :)
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-10-19 02:04 pm (UTC)
"If you fail elsewhere, you will always have something to fall back on right here."
i'm not sure if this a result of individuation, why should people here (or wherever there may be) be the rosy bed for you?
if you fail elsewhere, start something there!
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[User Picture]From: boyarmy
2006-10-19 02:17 pm (UTC)
well, in case you have forgotten your roots, it is always the root that will provide the best support when you fail, and in case you could not even start afresh over there.
Would really appreciate if you could identify yourself if you wanna make a comment in the future.
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-10-21 02:50 am (UTC)
if you are so true to your roots, where are you now?
seems like you only care about your future and who can shelter you when you fall, that's all.
Anonymous
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[User Picture]From: sorrie_bluez
2006-10-19 02:55 pm (UTC)
muackz..

don't overstress yourself, k? :)
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[User Picture]From: reflecto
2006-10-20 03:54 am (UTC)
Now it's just option 1, 2 and 3!

with me more towards 3.. kekek
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[User Picture]From: joejunior
2006-10-20 11:30 am (UTC)
best to do what u want while u are young and time is on ur side!
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